I can't imagine all the people that you know
And the places that you go
When the lights are turned down low
And I don't understand all the things you've seen
But I'm slipping in between
You and your big dreams
It's always you, in my big dreams
It's been a long year. I have lost one of my closest friends and with him, a substantial portion of myself. I miss you dear friend.
But I am thankful for the past year. It has brought me solace in places I did not expect. It fortified my relationships, strengthened my bonds to the people I love. It has taught me the most important lessons. To be strong, to take it one step at a time, to always be thankful, to remember everything that is important in life, to nurture your spirit and that no matter what happens, noone can break your spirit that you don't allow.
In this new year, my prayer shall be that of peace, happiness, comfort and blessings for all. May we all be thankful for what we have, and yet always strive to make things better - not just for ourselves, but for the people around us. May we always remember the child in us, the simple joys that we used to see in every corner of the world - let's go back to that. May we always remember to forgive and to give everyone a chance. Let's remember that everyone is special, unique and beautiful, and that everyone has a story - it's up to each of us to be quiet and listen. May we find comfort in each other, help and support each other - leave noone behind, let noone fall and should they fall, reach out to help them. May we stop judging, stop fighting, stop competing and stop hurting each other.
Thank you to my family, for being my unexpected solace. Thank you my friends, for always having enough time for me. Thank you dear Joachim, you have been my rock, my every strength this year. I would not be here without you.
God bless every single one of us. God bless you. :) Let's learn from the past and make 2009 a beautiful year for everyone.
~
Friday, December 26, 2008 @ 12:49 AM
twilight.
i don't know why but i completely enjoyed this movie!
and i cannot comprehend why but that dude (edward, have no idea what his real name is and completely not interested to find out.) is just smoking hot.
i think it's because i'm a huge fan of the pleasure pain stint. i think it's the grimace on his face when he kisses her, like he can't bear to, but he can't bear not to. pain adds such depth and grit to pleasure which, on its own, can often seem too frivolous and inconsequential and it makes it so much more tangible, less sweet, more palatable, more deep and moving somehow. it's the sacrifice and the inseparable closeness of pain and sacrifice with unbridled, infinite joy.
i think it's his stance, the broadness and gentle slope of his shoulders. the lean, graceful power of his body. i think it's the gentle strength in the lines of his face, the depth of his eyes, the steely look he gives. i think i'm getting carried away and edward's is not the face in my mind anymore. :P
i think it's the sweet flowing notes he plays on the piano, the gorgeous house, the endearingly quirky family, how he's a head taller than her. i love that piano tune, how the melody pulls and pushes, how you feel your chest tighten with the progressions.
at the end of the day, it's how the movie resonates deep in some place i haven't had touched in a long while. i think it's thinking about the little things, the simple things. all the things i haven't thought of for a long while. like dancing under the stars, lying in the snow, the look in each others eyes that so many long for and dream of and so few of us lucky ones get to actually experience, tears in your eyes seeing/hearing/thinking about something to beautiful, all the ridiculous things only diehard romantics like me think about..
it's the fragility of love, of life. and the tenacity of them both. it's the determination, the courage and that huge leap of faith where you're falling and you pray to God that that someone catches you. it's the greatest failing and the most beautiful success of our human race - falling in love. it's the unknown future and path there hand in hand, heart in hand.
i haven't watched a beautiful romantic movie in a while.. it's been comedy after war movie after action flick. i'm glad i got to see this.
~
Monday, December 22, 2008 @ 1:42 AM
with eyes wide open
went to see teng soon's baby's first month birthday all the way in johor. it doesn't look far but the jam's really a killer.
didn't take too many photos but here's a couple that i thought were nicer than the rest. :)
it'll be his real birthday in about 2 days! happy birthday francis :)
~
Sunday, December 21, 2008 @ 8:37 PM
my best friend :)
this is my best friend Cheryl.
She is the warmest kindest person i know. Sure she's not perfect. She's stubborn, defensive, has bad (ok different) taste in guys and her dog is a very hairy rat. But! She is brave and kind, she always thinks of other people before herself. She is loyal to a fault and doesn't take herself too seriously.
I've known her for 10 years. and in that time, she has made me feel like a sense of self worth, a feeling of home. She takes care of me, despite being 1000000000 miles away. She doesn't hang up the phone even though i call her at 3 am her time. She's hugged me when i cried, she's laughed with me and made me laugh. She's listened to all my secrets and trusts me with her secrets. She has never for a moment judged me for anything.
She's my cheerleader, my rock, my best friend.
I love you babe!! Thank you for a beautiful friendship and here's to growing old, fat and saggy together! Here's to more 3 hour conversations about everything and nothing at all. Here's to you and me and everything about us!
love love :)
~
Sunday, December 14, 2008 @ 12:21 AM
never be lonely.
i was really bored. and rather lonely. so i dusted out my beautiful camera, and decided to take some random shots around my house and mainly in my garden. decided to play a bit with some of the presets in lightroom and also decided to try to take things in new perspectives.
there's this random statue of horses in my garden. i like the idea, i have it in my head but i don't quite fancy the outcome.
haha i thought it looked a bit like a jeans advertisement :P
the quintessential drop of water on a leaf photo.
my staircase banister. an interesting point of view i thought.
underside of a vase. haha. you'll see if you come to my house.
alrighty folks, my family's coming home tmr and it's been very lonely at home. so i'm actually kind of looking forward to having them back.
~
Saturday, December 13, 2008 @ 1:17 AM
here's to doing the right thing, to giving a damn.
I think possibly the best advertisement I've seen this year at least. Amazing stuff. Gotta gotta watch it if you can.
Millions of people Everyone out for themselves Can this really be the only way?
No.
Here's to honor and to gallantry long may it live. Here's to doing the right thing, to giving a damn. Here's to the straight talkers who give their word and keep it. Here's to freedom wherever you find it and to knowing the true meaning of wealth. Here's to the brave among us. Here's to a code of behaviour that set certain men apart from all others.
Here's to us.
Kinda makes you think doesn't it?
~
Monday, December 8, 2008 @ 4:32 AM
how to be dead.
tired after a relatively nice day. :) went down to orchard road and had some fun and watched a movie and had a nice nice dinner. could have toned down the garlic a smidge but otherwise it was quite tasty and very very entertaining. :)
quote of the day would have to be..
"I have to marry you! Cause I know a lot and you know the rest." "Like what pecans are?" "Exactly."
which for some reason amuses me to no end. It's roughly paraphrased but i think i have the important bits in.
Well selamat hari raya to me! and thank you chinsiang for your sms! it was very sweet of you to remember :)
very beautiful song on joachim's blog. which you can actually check out here.
~
Saturday, December 6, 2008 @ 11:31 PM
apathy's the key word here.
been feeling lots of apathy recently. i'm tired. i think i really need a break from it all. and now i'm home alone. which is a bit scary. but i guess it's a relief in a way? one less group of people to deal with.
watching project runway, doing a lot less than i should.
i hope that the heaviness does stay any longer than it has to. it's been 4 months, 7 days and 16 and a half hours. and i don't think it's getting much easier.
a flower my mom grew. she said that it was the only bulb that flowered of all the ones she planted. and this was the extra bulb she tossed aside into a pot with very little soil and no water. little miracles.
~
Tuesday, December 2, 2008 @ 1:53 AM
my cousin's name is akira.
On the way to the birthday party.
Happy happy happy first birthday to you :)
having fun with the balloon :)
cake #1
cake #2 (baked by mummy!)
uncle who loves photography :)
told you.
tragically blur photo. honestly completely breaks my heart.
An assortment of baby appendages + bum.
baby love.
I am exhausted. And it's scary to think that things will really never be okay ever again. I hope I'm wrong.
Is this my life? Is this the product of the years I've tried So very hard yet I can't make a choice And when I find the words, I've lost my voice - I'm still a quiet one... But you know my river And it still runs deep A hundred and thousand more secrets to keep... I'm waiting for answers I know are inside
